Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
