Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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