i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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