I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
