its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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