How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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