check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
