I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dear god my vagina.
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