I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
