I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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