I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
