Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
