And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
