A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
