I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
