I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
