that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
