She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
