Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
