Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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