Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
