He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
