some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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