I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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