my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
