At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
