found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
