barbara walters just said penis...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
All I want is dick and wine.
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