Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
