Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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