No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
