The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
