I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
is wine microwaveable?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
