Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
