he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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