my soul wont recognize me after tonight
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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