I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
