Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
