I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
