Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
