Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
