hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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