please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
