??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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