like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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