I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
