there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
