R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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