I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize