I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
