And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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